


All I Want for Christmas

by Python07



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Still Game (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Fluff, Crack, M/M, first kiss under the mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-08 00:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5475551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when Eggsy wanted to do something special for Merlin for Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. “This is so sweet, Eggsy. If Merlin can’t tell that you’re in love with him, he’s blind, deaf, and dumb.”

“One hour,” Merlin said briskly as he pushed Eggsy and Roxy out of his office. “Then I’ll meet you two for dinner.”

They both turned to face him and planted their feet just outside the door. Roxy wagged a finger at him. “We’ll hold you to that.”

Eggsy gave a toothy, cheeky grin. “Yeah, just cause you’re Arthur now doesn’t mean we won’t come back to get ya.”

Merlin mouth twitched in amusement but he didn’t let a full smile slip through. “One hour,” he repeated and shut the door in their faces.

Roxy and Eggsy turned to each other and smirked. He shrugged. “We’ve got an hour to kill. What do you want to do?”

Roxy took Eggsy’s arm. She grinned. “Let’s go to the rec room and I’ll beat your arse in Mortal Kombat.”

Eggsy laughed. “Them is fightin’ words.”

“I’m unstoppable as Raiden.”

“No, I’m Raiden.”

Roxy suddenly shoved Eggsy back and then took off running. “Whoever gets there first gets to be Raiden.”

Eggsy tore after her, still laughing. “Don’t you know Santa’s watching, you naughty girl?”

“All’s fair in love and Mortal Kombat. Santa knows that.” Roxy threw over her shoulder.

They ran down the halls, Eggsy hot on Roxy’s heels but she still beat him to the rec room by a step. She smirked at him and pointed down to her shoes. “In heels too.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes and playfully shoved her. “You cheated.”

Roxy’s eyes twinkled. “Did not and you can’t prove anything.”

The room was decorated for Christmas with lights and garlands and a tree in one corner. They continued to playfully nudge each other as they settled on the couch with their controllers and cans of cola. She made a show of choosing Raiden from the character screen.

“Fine. I’ll be Scorpion,” Eggsy said as if making a great concession. He slipped his shoes off to display his bright red and green Christmas tree socks. He put his feet up on the coffee table and wiggled his toes. “What do ya think?”

Roxy chuckled. “They’re certainly festive. Ready?”

“Bring it.” 

They evenly split the first four matches. The only sounds in the room were of them pressing buttons and cursing at their fighters.

Eggsy stuck his tongue out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated on Scorpion’s moves. He threw his hands up in disgust when he dropped the next two games. He peeked at Roxy. “Listen,” he started tentatively, “are you sure about me, Mum, and Daisy coming to your family for Christmas?”

Roxy smiled warmly. “Of course. It’ll be great to have you. Mummy and Daddy are looking forward to meeting you.”

“There will be enough space?”

“The house is huge, Eggsy. My brother, Roddy, and his family are coming. We’ll still have room to spare.” Roxy lightly elbowed him and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I was thinking of kidnapping Merlin so he doesn’t work through the holiday. The man needs a break.”

Eggsy rubbed the back of his neck. “I know. I’ve been thinking about that.”

Roxy giggled. “Thinking about getting him under the mistletoe.”

Eggsy’s face flushed and he suddenly averted his eyes. “No. I was thinking about doing something special for him.”

Roxy leered. “How about waiting for him in bed, wearing nothing but a bow and a smile. That would be really special, something he’d never forget.”

“Rox,” Eggsy whined. He shifted uncomfortably. “I’m being serious here. Are you gonna help me or not?”

Roxy patted his shoulder and took his arm before he could stand and start pacing. Her smile gentled. “Of course. What do you have in mind?”

Eggsy still didn’t meet her eyes. “Well, he won’t talk about it, but I know he’s missing his family.”

Roxy nodded. “I’ve seen the pictures on his desk. His father and his sister and her family right?”

“Yeah. His Da lives in Glasgow and his sister, Fiona, lives in Toronto.” Eggsy briefly looked at Roxy. “I’ve been…uh…”

Roxy put an arm around him. “You’ve been…” she prompted gently.

Eggsy leaned into Roxy. “I’ve sorta been emailing her,” he admitted.

Roxy grinned. “How did you get her email address?”

“Percival helped me with that.” Eggsy expression was half impressed and half afraid. “I didn’t ask about his methods.”

Roxy kissed the top of Eggsy’s head. “Wise call.”

Eggsy pulled back just enough to see her face. “Anyway, now that the airlines are operating again, she and her family are coming as a surprise,” he said and watched her anxiously for her reaction.

Roxy’s answering smile was huge. “Wonderful.”

“You don’t think I overstepped?”

Roxy affectionately smacked him in the back of the head. “No. What do you need from me?”

Eggsy laughed and pretended to cower. “They’ll be coming in two days. Can you pick them up and take them to their hotel?”

Roxy huffed and waved that off. “We’re not putting Merlin’s family in a hotel. We’re kidnapping him and they can all come to the house.”

“Oh, Rox, shouldn’t you check with your parents first?”

“The more, the merrier. What about his Da?”

Eggsy shrugged. “I was gonna call him but Fiona said it would be better if I drove there in person. I’m off up there tomorrow.”

Roxy hugged him tightly. “This is so sweet, Eggsy. If Merlin can’t tell that you’re in love with him, he’s blind, deaf, and dumb.”

Eggsy just blushed a deeper shade of red in response.


	2. "That first Christmas right after V-Day felt like a funeral."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Victor discuss holiday TV and their families.

“What are we watching?” Jack asked as he stepped through the beaded curtain from his kitchen to the main room. He carried two cups of tea.

Victor was in his normal spot on Jack’s couch. “It depends on what kind of Christmas program you’re interested in.” He chuckled as he flipped through the channels. “Holiday concert. Christmas episodes of Downtown Abbey and Dr. Who.”

Jack handed Victor his cup of tea. He made a face. “God, no.”

Victor snickered. “If that’s not to your desire, we have My Big Fat Gypsy Christmas or Gordon Ramsay’s Festive Home Cooking.”

Jack eased down into his chair with a grunt. “I donnae want to watch that wanker.” 

“Aye. He is a wanker,” Victor agreed easily. “How about The Tudor Monastery Farm Christmas Special.”

Jack just shot Victor an unimpressed look.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Victor’s eyes twinkled impishly. “Dream Me Up Scotty.”

Jack winced. “What is that?”

Victor read from the guide. “Alex Norton goes on ‘Scottish accent safari’ to find some of the best and worst Scottish accents committed to film.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Pish.”

“Mrs. Brown’s Boys.”

“Watch a young man dressed as old woman.” Jack gave an exaggerated shiver and one end of his mouth quirked up. “No thank you.”

“Aye. It’s odd.” Victor shrugged. “There’s the old standbys: White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, and A Christmas Carol.” 

Jack frowned at the screen. “What is that you’ve stopped on?”

Victor peered at the screen. “I don’t know.”

Jack tilted his head to the side. “What is that? A white Yeti?” He laughed quietly. “He’s a hairy bastard.”

Victor held a hand up. “Found it. It’s a troll.”

“A troll?”

“Aye. Trollhunter. It’s Norwegian.” Victor read out loud, “A group of students investigates a series of mysterious bear killings, but learns that there are much more dangerous things going on. They start to follow a mysterious hunter, learning that he is actually a troll hunter.”

Jack’s brow furrowed. “What does that have to do with Christmas?”

Victor shrugged. “Snow?”

Jack waved at the screen. “Keep going.” 

Victor did so. He stopped on the news and a female reporter in downtown Glasgow at the mall. He pointed to the screen. “Look at the crowds.”

Jack set his tea to the side and pulled his pipe from his pocket. “All those people flitting about.”

Victor started flipping channels again. “Aye, you couldn’t pay me to go out in that mess, but at least it means the world is getting back to normal. That first Christmas right after V-Day felt like a funeral.”

Jack lit his pipe and took a couple puffs. “True. There wasn’t anybody who didn’t have someone he or she was mourning.”

Victor sobered. “We got lucky there, Jack,” he said gravely, “with Alec locking us away so we couldnae do any damage.”

Jack nodded. “And Fiona and John and their families getting through relatively unscathed.” 

Victor tapped Jack’s knee. “Your boy did good.”

“Aye,” Jack agreed in quiet pride.

They had a moment of companionable silence before Victor’s shoulders slumped. “Miracle on 34th Street.” He gave a pained smile. “That’s my John’s favorite Christmas movie.”

Jack sat forward and took the remote. He turned the TV off and dropped it on the coffee table. “The airlines are up and running again. You should invite him and the family to come see you.”

Victor shook his head. “You know he won’t have that, Jack. He cannae be bothered. At first I thought V-Day might change it, but he’s still so wrapped up in himself and his career. What about you? You could visit Alec or Fiona.”

Jack expelled smoke with sighed heavily. “Alec is Arthur now. He’s got a lot on his plate and I donnae want to disturb him. As for Fiona, Tony, and the boys, I would love to see them, but Tony’s parents are in a bad way and I cannae make that flight again.”

“Aye, it’s a bastard,” Victor agreed. “Even if John wanted me there, I couldnae do it. Being stuck in the plane for hours, cramped lavies, and jet lag. It took me weeks to get back to normal after we got back from Toronto.”

Jack smiled. “It was quite the trip though.”

Victor grinned. “Aye, it was.”

Jack sighed wistfully. “I’ll remember it for the rest of my days.”

“Me and all,” Victor said softly.

They perked up at the knock on the door. They exchanged glances before Jack levered himself to his feet. He stretched but his lower back was still sore. “I’m in no mood for Isa and her pish,” he muttered. He went to the peephole. “Victor.”

“Yeah, Jack?”

Jack waved Victor over. “Come here.”

Victor’s knee twinged as he stood. He grit his teeth and went to join Jack. “What is it?”

“Look.”

Victor planted a hand on the doorframe. He bent down to look out of the peephole at the young man wearing a white puffy jacket, baggy jeans, and white winged high tops. He straightened back up. “He’s dressed as a ned.”

Jack took another look. “But he doesn’t carry himself like one. He’s not snickering or standing there like an arrogant prick.”

“No shouting.” Victor tapped Jack’s shoulder so he could take another look. “He’s not looking around like he’s up to no good.”

“And he’s alone. Neds usually run in packs.”

Victor lowered his voice. “Do you have your knife?”

Jack did the same. He positioned himself behind the door. “Aye.”

Victor nodded and opened the door an inch. “Can I help you?” he asked flatly.

The young man smiled nervously. “I’m looking for Jack Jarvis.”

Victor’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Who wants him?”

The young man held up his hand, displaying his signet ring. “The name’s Eggsy.” He looked around and whispered, “Or Elyan if you’d prefer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found a Scottish TV holiday guide: http://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/culture/tv-radio/christmas-and-new-year-tv-guide-scotland-1-3220686


	3. “With all due respect, give yourself a Christmas present and get your head out of your arse.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin wakes in an unfamiliar place but it doesn't turn out to be all that bad.

Merlin woke slowly. He stretched and suddenly realized that he wasn’t in his own bed. His eyes shot open and he jerked up to a sitting position. He grabbed his glasses from the nearby stand and looked around, his heart pounding in his chest.

The room was decorated in warm reds and golds. The furniture was dark wood, understated and elegant. He peered into the en suite bathroom. It looked to be clean and pristine.

“What?” he muttered at a loss.

“If you were kidnapped by anyone who meant you harm, do you really think you’d be free or have your glasses right now?” Roxy teased.

Merlin glared at her leaning against the door jam. “Where am I?”

“My parents house for the holiday,” Roxy answered brightly. “Happy Christmas!”

“I remember sitting at my desk and…” Merlin’s voice trailed off. He continued glaring at her. “You drugged me.”

Roxy snickered, completely unrepentant. “Technically, Percival did.” She pushed away from the door and went to stand by the window next to the bed. “And he only gave you enough for about 6 hours. You’ve slept for almost twelve.” She pointed at him and added dryly, “Apparently, you needed it.”

“That is hardly the point.”

“That is the point,” Roxy retorted. 

Merlin grunted. “You cannae go around drugging your superiors.”

Roxy waved that off. “Oh, stop acting like you don’t want to spend Christmas here with Eggsy. Play your cards right and you can catch him under the mistletoe.”

Merlin felt the heat creeping up the back of his neck. “Lancelot--” he started.

Roxy folded her arms across her chest and sent him a death look. “Merlin,” she interrupted firmly. “With all due respect, give yourself a Christmas present and get your head out of your arse.”

Merlin’s mouth moved but nothing came out. He snapped it shut. He stopped looking at her.

Roxy rolled her eyes. “Oh, do stop pouting.”

Merlin jerked and stared at her indignantly. “I do not pout.”

Roxy rolled her eyes again. “Percival packed your go bag. Have a shower. I’ll send Ben up with a cup of tea and a small sandwich, just something to tide you over until dinner in a couple hours. Then you can come down and join us in the main room.”

“Fine,” Merlin grumbled.

“And be quick about it.” Roxy paused and smiled at him sweetly. “If you’re not down in a half hour, I’ll be back and I’ll be much less nice about it.”

Merlin decided that discretion was the better part of valor. He showered quickly, ate the sandwich in three quick bites, and downed the lukewarm tea. He walked down the long hall with multiple doors. He came to a massive staircase. He went down to the marble tiled foyer, complete with chandelier.

His jaw dropped when he heard a familiar voice. He followed it to the main hall. The doors were open and he stopped just outside, out of sight.

Victor’s voice was strong and clear. “So she built up the fire and she put the bairns…”

“Wait. Wait,” a child’s voice interrupted. “I don’t understand. What are bairns?”

“Kids,” Jack answered. 

“I will now continue.” It sounded like Victor made a show of clearing his throat. “So she built up the fire and she put the bairns to bed because they were greetin' with hunger.”

Merlin smiled. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to go in.

Jack continued the story. “Well she got them all tucked in and she sat by the fire and she was doing some sewing, because she used to mend some clothes for people who had a few pounds. So she was sitting by the fire sewing away when there was a knock at the door, and it was very unusual in those days for anybody to knock at a door because people usually just lifted the latch and came in.”

Victor took a turn. “But Mallie went to the door and she opened it, and there before her was a tiny weeny man, no bigger than about a 5-year-old, but with long grey hair and long moustache and beard, and wee tinkling eyes, and she knew then that this must be a troll.”

“Troll,” the kids exclaimed. Merlin could hear at least six of them.

“This is a good troll,” Jack assured them. “And she said.”

Victor took on a high pitched voice. “Good evening to you, what can I do for you sir?”

Jack took on a gruff voice for the troll. “Oh, I am an old man, and I am tired and I am needing to come in and rest and maybe have a bite to eat.”

Merlin covered his mouth to smother a laugh. 

Victor answered in the Mallie voice, “'Well, I am sorry. But you have picked the wrong house, I am afraid, we don’t have any food to offer you. But if you go down the road another mile or two there are some houses down there, you might get better luck.”

'No, no, no,” Jack answered in the gruff troll voice. “No, I couldn’t go a step further, I am tired, I need to rest.”

Merlin heard the kids laugh and he could picture the looks on Jack and Victor’s faces when they were in character. Suddenly, Fiona appeared at Merlin’s side. She smiled warmly. “Alec.”

Merlin’s eyes got wide. “Fi,” he whispered.

Fiona hugged him. “It’s good to see you.”

Merlin returned it. “Good to see you too. Are Tony and the boys here?”

Fiona pulled back just enough to see his face. She kept hold of his arm. “Of course.”

“Are Da and Victor telling Mallie and the Trow?”

“Aye.”

Fiona tugged him forward. “Come on. No more loitering.”

The main room was a huge space. Floor to ceiling bookshelves covered two walls. Another was a giant window, displaying the snow-covered woods outside. There was enough room for two leather couches and a desk. A giant Christmas tree stood in one corner. Jack and Victor sat in two chairs in front of the fireplace. All the kids, Eggsy, Roxy, and Tony sat in front of them. The other adults sat on the couches, listening.

Victor was half standing, miming the motions as he spoke, “…but she took a knife and she scraped the sides of the meal gurnell to get the last bits of dust of the flour off. She scraped into the corners and she scraped together everything.”

Jack did the same. “She scraped into the corners and she scraped together everything; there were bits of cobwebs in it and wee bits of wood shavings, and she gathered it all together into the middle and she scooped it up into a bowl.”

Merlin tried to stop but Fiona dragged him to sit with the kids. She pushed him down next to Eggsy and sat on his other side. Jack and Victor hadn’t stopped the story.

“Tell me, woman…” Jack rumbled. “…that stuff that you gave me last night to eat, was that really the last food that you have in the world?”

Merlin watched avidly, losing himself in the story. He felt a little of that magic he felt as a child. The story of Mallie and her kindness, the reward from the troll of the gold coins in the peats, and the miserly woman losing everything was familiar, comforting, and magic.

When the story was over, the kids clamored for another one. Jack and Victor glanced at each other. Jack grinned and winked at Merlin. “I suppose we have time for one more before dinner.”

Victor sat forward and asked eagerly, “Do you know the story of Bride and Angus?”

“No,” the kids chorused.

Victor rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “Youse are in for a treat.”

Merlin looked at Eggsy who wouldn’t meet his eyes. Then Eggsy got up and walked away. Merlin stared after him, confused.

Fiona leaned in close to Merlin’s ear. “He planned all this. Go thank him.” She nudged him. “Go on.”

Merlin rose smoothly to his feet. He nodded to his Da and Victor and followed Eggsy out into the hall. “Eggsy?”

Eggsy turned to him anxiously. “I’m sorry if I overstepped Merlin. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You’ve been working so hard and…”

Merlin didn’t know what to do with Eggsy rambling. The he noticed where Eggsy was standing, under the mistletoe. He stopped thinking. He stepped up to Eggsy, cupped Eggsy’s face in his hands, and leaned down to kiss him.

Eggsy moaned low in his throat. He rested his hands on Merlin’s chest as he melted into the kiss. It was soft, slow, and breathtaking.

“What made you think I was angry?” Merlin whispered against Eggsy’s lips.

“You weren’t saying anything.”

“It’s rude to interrupt a story,” Merlin murmured and kissed Eggsy again.

“Happy Christmas, Merlin.”

“Happy Christmas, Eggsy.” Merlin reached down to take Eggsy’s hand. “Come on. Bride and Angus is a good one, especially with the way Da and Victor tell it.”

Eggsy grinned. “Okay.” He fell into step with Merlin. “You know those two are still scary as fuck, right?”

Merlin smirked. “I have no idea what you mean, lad.”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story found here: http://www.educationscotland.gov.uk/scotlandsstories/index.asp


	4. Alternate Track: Isa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isa sees the boys leaving with Eggsy and her imagination runs wild.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really thought this story was going to be three chapters and done. However, some of the other characters want to get in on the act. This is a small side track to the main story.

The voiceover man’s voice filled Isa’s living room. “That’s it for this week on UK’s Most Wanted. As always, if you see any of the criminals listed on our program, do not approach them yourself. These are dangerous felons. Call the police immediately. All of us here wish all of our viewers a most blessed holiday season. We will see you when UK’s Most Wanted returns in the new year.”

“There are too many dangerous men in this world.” Isa shivered and stood up to switch off her television. She took her empty tea cup into the kitchen, rinsed it, and set it to the side. 

Isa wandered back into her living room. “I wonder if anyone’s told Jack that that announcer sounds a little like him,” she muttered.

She glanced out the window at the Osprey Heights parking lot. She froze when she saw Jack and Victor getting into the back seat of a four door black sedan. There was a young man holding the door for them and waving his free arm in agitated excitement.

She grabbed her binoculars out of a nearby drawer. She examined the young man. “Cap, white puffy jacket, baggy jeans, and white winged high-top tennies.” Her free hand flew to her throat. “Dear Lord, Jack and Victor are being kidnapped by that ned!” she exclaimed.

She put the binoculars down long enough to get a pencil and paper. She had just enough time to write down the license plate before the car disappeared from sight. “Oh, God. Oh, God. Poor Jack ‘n Victor.”

She turned to her phone and that’s when she saw the green envelope laying on the floor of her hall, just under her letterbox. Her brow furrowed. “That wasnae there a half hour ago.”

She grunted softly as she bent down to pick it up. She turned it over in her hands but it was unmarked. She opened the card to see Father Christmas’ smiling face. She opened it, read the short message, and then made a mad grab for her phone.

“Constable Bateson,” a male voice answered professionally.

Isa clutched the phone receiver against her ear. “My name is Isa Drennan. I live in Osprey Heights and my friends have just been kidnapped,” she blurted out quickly. “It was a black car. I have the license.”

“All right, Mrs. Drennan. Slow down.”

“It’s not all right,” Isa snapped. “I’m tellin’ ye. It’s an emergency!”

“Take a deep breath and tell me what happened,” Bateson said calmly. “Come on, hen. Breathe. You cannae help them if ye work yourself into such a state. Gather your thoughts and tell me.”

Isa took a deep breath. “Well, I just finished up watching UK’s Most Wanted.” She nervously wrapped the phone cord around her fingers. “It was the last episode before the new year, ye know.”

“Aye I know,” Bateson said encouragingly. “What about your friends?”

“Then I took my tea cup into the kitchen to rinse it out or else I’d forget. I hate it when I do all my dishes and I forget that one cup.”

“Yes. Go on.”

“I was walking by the window.” Isa shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I happened to look out and saw my friends, Jack and Victor, getting into the black car,” she said dramatically.

Isa stopped and Bateson waited for a long moment before he said slowly, “Okay.”

Isa continued nervously playing with the phone cord. “You donnae understand,” she wailed. “There was a ned down there with them, holding the car door. He’s the one who kidnapped them.”

“I see. Did he have a weapon?” Bateson asked briskly.

Isa shook her head. “I didnae see one.”

“Did he physically force them into the car?”

“No.”

“Were they cuffed or anything like that?”

“No.”

“Forgive me, hen,” Bateson said with exaggerated patience. “But what makes you think they were kidnapped?”

Isa let out a scandalized gasp. “Jack and Victor donnae hang about with neds!”

“Ma’am,” Bateson started.

“And there’s the card,” Isa interrupted.

“What card?” Bateson asked at a loss.

Isa waved the card. “A Christmas card from Jack ‘n Victor. They must’ve slipped it into my letter box on the way out.”

“What does it say?”

Isa flipped it open. “Isa, donnae worry about our dinner on Christmas. We’ve got an opportunity to spend Christmas with some friends. We’ll see you when we get back. Give our best to everyone at the community center. Happy Christmas from Jack and Victor,” she read. She pushed her glasses up on her nose. “I volunteer every year at the center, ye see.”

“That’s very good of you,” Bateson said kindly. “You want to know what I think happened?”

“What?”

“I think it’s just what Jack and Victor said. They’re spending Christmas with friends.”

“But what friends?” Isa demanded.

Bateson chuckled quietly. “Ask them when they get back.”

“But--” Isa started to protest.

“Mrs. Drennan, nothing you’ve told me leads me to believe that anything untoward is going on.”

Isa chewed her bottom lip. “Really?”

“Aye,” Bateson answered softly, but firmly.

Isa still wasn’t sure so she told everyone at the pub what happened. They just laughed at her. She offered a two finger salute to everyone there. “Happy Christmas to youse as well.”

Winston bought her a sherry. He smirked. “That constable was too nice to tell you, but you’ve been watching too much crime TV, ye doolally cow.”


End file.
